.

Iain McLaughlin

Click here to edit subtitle

The Lone Warrior

Episode One

Rejected script

This script was sent to Big Finish around the end of January 2000. It was one of three I submitted on spec. My plan was to bludgeon them to death with ideas until they either took one or took out a court order to stop me. The script was returned with a very nice "Thanks but we'll pass on that one." letter around August or September.
Part One

1.
1894. London. Night.
It’s one of those nights Victorian London is supposedly so famous for. Though we can’t
see it, a real pea-souper has blown in up the Thames. Ships’ horns sound from the river.
A carriage or cart rattles over the cobblestones. It has two occupants - Orville
Stedgewick and Cassidy, his trusty (and violent) henchman, who is mute.

STEDGEWICK
Keep the noise down, Cassidy. It may be gone two in the morning but there’s
no telling who’s out and about the capital at this hour.

Cassidy grunts. Stedgewick laughs. It’s not a nice laugh.

STEDGEWICK
You’re right, my boy. People like us. This fog’s playing us a favour. Even our
mothers wouldn’t recognise us from more than five feet.

Another Cassidy grunt.

STEDGEWICK
Even if you hadn’t killed yours.

Cassidy laughs. It’s even less appealing than Stedgewick’s. These are clearly
not nice people.

STEDGEWICK
There. Take us into the alley there.

Cart rattles into an alley.

STEDGEWICK
Where is he ? I told him to be here by two.

Cassidy grunts.

STEDGEWICK
I wish you could speak, Cassidy. What is it ?

Another grunt.

STEDGEWICK
I see it. He’s started without us. He’s showing initiative. I don’t know that I
like that. Let’s see how he’s doing.

They jump down. Their footsteps lead to a broken door, which they shift
aside. It scrapes on the cobbles.

STEDGEWICK
Solid oak - and he tore it off the hinges.

A nervy grunt from Cassidy.

STEDGEWICK
Don’t you worry. I’ve got him well under control. Varsh ? Are you in here ?

A heavy figure lumbers towards them. He’s obviously carrying a great weight;
his feet thumping the floorboards. When he speaks, Varsh has a big, strong voice.

VARSH
Of course.

STEDGEWICK
I told you to wait for us outside the bank.

VARSH
You told me to wait until two o’clock. You are late.

STEDGEWICK
We’ll argue about time-keeping later. Can you manage that safe by yourself ?

VARSH
Yes. You would be more of a hindrance than a help.

STEDGEWICK
I wasn’t offering myself. Cassidy, make sure the coast’s clear outside.

Cassidy gives a reassuring grunt from the door.

STEDGEWICK
Right, get the safe into the back of the cart.

Varsh grunts and carries the safe into the alley. He drops it into the back of the cart.

STEDGEWICK
Have you ever seen strength the likes of that, Cassidy ?

A grunt that says “no”.

STEDGEWICK
Well done, Mr Varsh. Time to be going I should say. Up we get. Not you, Varsh.

VARSH
(Obviously tired)
What ?

STEDGEWICK
You’re too conspicuous by half. The boys in blue would be down on us like the
proverbial ton of bricks if anybody saw you with us. You go back the way you came.

VARSH
I am exhausted. My strength is all but gone.

STEDGEWICK
Then I suggest you hurry. The sooner you get back, the sooner you’ll be taken care of.

VARSH
You will pay for treating me like this.

STEDGEWICK
You know me, Mr Varsh. I don’t believe in paying. Try not to get into any trouble on
the way back.

The cart moves off. Varsh roars and we hear the door being hit. It cracks and
splinters into pieces.

2.
London.
The cart clatters across the cobbles. A woman, Mary Kate is out late. She’s a bit drunk.

STEDGEWICK
Move, you stupid tart.

MARY KATE
Watch out. You could have killed me.

The cart clatters off, leaving Mary Kate grumbling.

MARY KATE
Daft driving so fast in this fog. Never liked them carts anyways.

Evidently, she spies somebody.

MARY KATE
Did you see that ? Could have killed me, they could. You’re out late, aren’t you ? I bet I
know what a big strong sort like you’s after. You’re in luck, dear. You come with Mary Kate.
I’ll look after you. If you’ve got the money. I’m not cheap, mind, but I’m worth it.

Sound of coins being proffered. They scrape together.

MARY KATE
That’s more than I make in a month. You rob a bank or something ? You won’t regret this,
dear. You’ll never forget Mary Kate. Right, we’re well hidden here. Let’s get...

A blade is drawn.

MARY KATE
What are you... no. NO !

Her yell is choked off with the sound of a blade being driven into her. She gurgles and
moans and slumps to the ground.

3.
Stedgewick’s Fun Fair.
Stedgewick is counting his money. He’s well pleased with his evening’s work.

STEDGEWICK
You did well tonight, boys.

Cassidy grunts and his hand is slapped away.

STEDGEWICK
Paws off, Cassidy. I haven’t finished counting it yet.

VARSH
(Obviously very tired)
Count it later.

STEDGEWICK
You sound tired, Mr Varsh. Feeling under the weather, are we ?

VARSH
I have fulfilled my end of our bargain. Fulfil yours.

STEDGEWICK
I should imagine you’re feeling a little worn out around now, what with all your exertions.

VARSH
Give it to me.

STEDGEWICK
You’re worse than one of the Chinee down at the opium houses, begging for their
poppy pipes.

VARSH
Give it to me !

STEDGEWICK
Your manners need work - but we can’t have our star attraction keeling over, can
we ? Not with two shows a day to think of, and your, shall we say, extra-curricular
activities ? Here. Take it.

A cylinder slides noisily across the desk. Varsh sighs with relief. It’s like he’s getting his fix.

STEDGEWICK
But always remember. I’m the only place you can get what you need to stay alive.
Cross me, and you’re dead.

VARSH
(Stronger)
I am unlikely to forget.

4.
London. Next morning.
Cracked-voiced old news-vendor yells amid the general sounds of a busy street of the time.
Carriages, etc.

VENDOR
Evening News extra. ‘Orrible murder in Whitechapel. Third in a month. Police baffled.
Is the Ripper back ? Read all about it.

The vendor’s voice fades a little, as though we’re moving along the street. A horse whinneys
and a cab clatters by and then we get to an argument between Tess (Teresa) Oaks and her
erstwhile landlord. Tess is around 18 or 19 and strong-willed.

TESS
You got to let me in.

LANDLORD
Got the rent you owe me, Tessie ?

TESS
Not yet, but...

LANDLORD
You don’t get in if you don’t got the rent.

TESS
You can’t do this. I need to get my stuff...

The argument continues, fading as we seem to move on. Another carriage clatters by
and we move into a quieter alley, where it’s fairly peaceful for a second until the Tardis
materialises with her usual fanfare. The door opens and the 6th Doctor steps out, full
of joie de vivre.

DOCTOR
Ah, London.

He sniffs the air and coughs a little. His joie de vivre is a tad dented.

DOCTOR
Victorian London. An unmistakable bouquet. Ah, well. Only ninety years early, old girl.
Close enough.

He closes the door and moves out into the street where the street sounds get a little louder.

DOCTOR
East End... mid 1890's... Autumn ?

VENDOR
Another bank robbed ! Door ripped off hinges !

DOCTOR
Whitechapel. I thought I recognised the place.

We’re getting back towards the argument between Tess and her landlord, which is still heated.

TESS
You’ve got to let me in.

LANDLORD
Not till you’ve got the rent.

TESS
At least let me get a change of clothes.

LANDLORD
Your clothes is all you got. They’re all as’ll keep you coming back here with the money.

TESS
How do you know they’re all I got ? You’ve been poking round my room. What were you
doing ? Trying on my dress ?

She yelps as the Landlord grabs her.

TESS
Get off. Let go.

LANDLORD
You speak to me like that and I’ll...

DOCTOR
You’ll what ?, if you don’t mind me asking.

LANDLORD
Mind your own business.

DOCTOR
When I see an under-evolved simian with the intellectual capacity of a brick terrorising a
girl half his size, I tend to make it my business.

LANDLORD
What ?

DOCTOR
In words of one syllable, pick on someone your own size.

LANDLORD
You ?

DOCTOR
I don’t see anyone else here. Well ?

The Landlord mulls it over for a second then backs down.

LANDLORD
Your stuff’s in your bag, Tessie. Get it and get out.

DOCTOR
Go on.

Tess shoves a door open. She’s back a few moments later.

TESS
Got it. It’s all here.

LANDLORD
I wouldn’t have made the rent from selling it anyway. There’s only one way a girl like you will ever make money. On your back.

A loud slap. She’s belted the Landlord. Sounds like it hurt as well.

LANDLORD
You...

DOCTOR
Ah-ah-ah. Temper... Let’s leave the nice gorilla, shall we ?

The door slams.

TESS
I suppose you want me to thank you.

DOCTOR
A little gratitude wouldn’t go amiss. I did stop him from giving you a nasty turn.

TESS
It depends what you mean by gratitude. I’m not that sort of girl. You’ll get nothing like
that from me.

DOCTOR
A simple “thank you” would suffice.

TESS
Right. Thank you.

DOCTOR
My pleasure.

TESS
Why’d you get involved anyway ? Here, you’re not one of them God-bothering missionary
lot are you ? Saving fallen women and all that lark.

DOCTOR
I’m nothing of the sort. In fact I try never to bother anybody. Well, not much. I just don’t like
bullies, that’s all. I’ve seen too many of them in my time. Now, are you all right ?

TESS
I’ve been worse, I suppose. Can’t remember when , though.

DOCTOR
What was all that about ?

TESS
My Landlord. Well, he used to be. He reckoned I owed him a month’s rent.

DOCTOR
Did you ?

TESS
More like two.

DOCTOR
And you don’t have the money ?

TESS
Not so’s you’d notice.

DOCTOR
What do you plan on doing ? You can’t sleep in the open.

TESS
I’m so hungry I couldn’t think about sleeping anyway.

DOCTOR
Actually, I’m a bit peckish myself. If I remember correctly, there’s a decent hotel which
does splendid scones four or five streets this way. Come on.

TESS
What for ?

DOCTOR
I absolutely detest eating alone. Would you mind terribly keeping me company ? If we
hurry we may just catch an early supper.

TESS
All right. But no funny business, right ?

DOCTOR
Absolutely. Shall we ?

TESS
Right. By the way, my name’s Tess Oaks.

DOCTOR
How do you do, Tess. I’m the Doctor.

TESS
Pleased to meet you, I'm sure.

DOCTOR
Now that we’ve been properly introduced, can we hurry ? I really am jolly hungry.


5.
Stedgewick’s Fair.
Stedgewick is in his caravan, looking out. A bit of a rumble of a crowd.

STEDGEWICK
Look at that lot, Cassidy.

Cassidy grunts.

STEDGEWICK
Toffs, mostly. Not the usual potless scum we pander to. I tell you Varsh is a goldmine.

Cassidy grunts.

STEDGEWICK
I know, but he’s worth the trouble. Even if we wasn’t making late-night withdrawals, he’s
pulling the biggest crowds in London. We’re making more money legal than we’ve
looked at before.

Cassidy grunts.

STEDGEWICK
And it’s still not enough ? That’s why I like you, Cassidy. You’re like me - ambitious and
greedy. The world out there thinks them’s dirty words. Well, let them think it. They can
think what they want - as long as they give us their money.

Cassidy laughs.

STEDGEWICK
Right. It’s five minutes till the show starts. Go and have Varsh get ready.

A nervous grunt.

STEDGEWICK
I know you don’t like going there but he won’t hurt you. Remember, I’ve got what he needs.

An unconvinced Cassidy grunts and heads off. Stedgewick gets thoughtful.

STEDGEWICK
I wonder... with crowds like this, maybe I should get a better pitch, closer to the toffs. Pull a
better standard of punter... Easier for pilfering, too...

6.
Victoria Hotel.
The Doctor and Tess are in the dining room.  There’s the general clinking and rattling of
crockery and cutlery.

TESS
We’re getting some funny looks, Doctor.

DOCTOR
Are we ? Can’t say I’d  noticed. Ignore them.

TESS
I should imagine you’re used to people staring at you in that coat.

DOCTOR
What’s wrong with my jacket ?

TESS
Well, it’s... it’s... bright ?

DOCTOR
If I bring a little colour into people’s lives, then so much the better. Ah. Here we are.

Sounds of their meal being delivered.

WAITER
Sir.

DOCTOR
Thank you, good fellow.
(Sniffing)
Ah. The aroma alone is worth traveling half a constellation for.


TESS
You what ?

DOCTOR
Tuck in.

TESS
Are you sure ? You sound like a toff but you don’t look like one. Can you afford this ?

DOCTOR
A toff ? I suppose technically I am a Lord of sorts. A knight as well, come to think of it.
However, yes, I can afford it - now eat up before it goes cold.

TESS
Good. Coz I really am starving.
(She gets stuck into her meal.)
And I didn’t much fancy having to dab a few pockets to pay for this lot.

DOCTOR
Dab pockets ? You’re a thief ?

TESS
Why don’t you shout a little louder ? I think somebody deaf in Brighton didn’t quite hear you.

DOCTOR
Sorry. I’m just a little surprised, that’s all.

TESS
It’s not something I’m exactly proud of, you know.

DOCTOR
I imagine not.

TESS
Besides, I don’t do it no more. I ain’t dabbed a pocket in years. I never wanted to do it at all.

DOCTOR
So why did you ?

TESS
My dad didn’t like working for a living.

DOCTOR
So he sent you out stealing ? Utterly reprehensible.

TESS
Started when I was four. He was a lazy, good-for-nothing, my dad. But he was quick with his
hands if I didn’t nick enough gear for him.

DOCTOR
Where is he now ?

TESS
Don’t know. Don’t care, neither. I ain’t seen the pig in five years.

DOCTOR
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.

TESS
I don’t mind. Most people say worse about him than I do. When I was fourteen, he’d been drinking
all night and took a swing at me when he got home. I hadn’t done nothing, but that never mattered
much. Anyway, I ducked out of the way and walloped him one with a kettle. Pity it was cold. Ruined
the kettle, an’ all. I ain’t been back since.

DOCTOR
You survived, all by yourself ?

TESS
I made some money sewing - my Mum taught me how before Dad... before she died. I’m good, too.
There’s just not so much work about at the minute. That’s why I ain’t been able to pay my rent.

DOCTOR
Or eat either ? Slow down before you choke yourself.

TESS
Suppose I have been going at it a bit sharp. It’s just, you know. Maybe you don’t. What with you
being a Lord and knight and all that.

DOCTOR
You sound like you don’t believe me.

TESS
As long as you can pay for this I’d believe you if you told me Queen Victoria was a one-legged
horse. But if you are a toff, what are you doing here ? Why ain’t you at home ?

DOCTOR
That’s not easy to answer.

TESS
No ?

DOCTOR
I’m not exactly popular at home these days. I tend to cause trouble when I’m there.

TESS
I can believe that.

DOCTOR
These days, I’m more of a traveller.

TESS
I had an uncle like you. He had itchy feet. Went to America, he did. Ain’t heard from him since.
Mind you, he can’t write.

DOCTOR
I once heard Francis Bacon says the same about William Shakespea... hang on. I don’t believe it.

The Doctor stands and calls.

DOCTOR
Fred ! Over here. Fred !

TESS
Who are you shouting to ?

DOCTOR
An old friend. Stay there.

The Doctor hurries after his friend.

DOCTOR
Fred ?

A door closes loudly. The Doctor is intercepted by Mrs Potter, a lady in her forties or fifties.
Obviously a strong-willed lady. You get the feeling she’d be happier if this was a temperance hotel.

MRS POTTER
If you don’t mind, Sir.

DOCTOR
Excuse me, I’ve just spotted an old friend.

MRS POTTER
You can catch your friend after you’ve paid your bill.

DOCTOR
Pardon ? Oh.

TESS
Here, what’s your game, Doctor ? You weren’t gonna scarper and leave me with the bill were you ?

DOCTOR
Not at all.

MRS POTTER
It looked that way to me.

DOCTOR
Honestly, Tess. I wasn’t running away.

MRS POTTER
(Coughs meaningfully)
The bill. Sir.

DOCTOR
Do stop waving that thing under my nose, woman. How much is it anyway ?
(Takes the bill)
Outrageous. And don’t expect a tip.

MRS POTTER
I’ll settle for the bill being paid.

DOCTOR
Very well. I don’t suppose you have any rooms free at the moment ?

MRS POTTER
We do.

DOCTOR
Excellent.

MRS POTTER
You can pay, I suppose ?

DOCTOR
(Muttering)
Sometimes I wonder why I come to this wretched planet.

MRS POTTER
It’s just that I know you theatricals. You stay in digs for a week, eat them out of house
and home then slip away without paying. It happens regular in this business, so I’m told.

DOCTOR
I assure you, madam, that I am neither a theatrical nor a swindler.

MRS POTTER
You look like a theatrical.

DOCTOR
I am, however, looking for lodging. My young friend here could do with a decent night’s sleep.

MRS POTTER
Can you pay ?

DOCTOR
(Miffed, annoyed and frustrated - big-time)
Here. Hold these, Tess.

Sounds of him rummaging through pockets and handing the contents to Tess.

DOCTOR
Where are we ? Apple ? Jelly babies ? Didn’t know I still carried those.

TESS
What are they ?

DOCTOR
A confection, a delight and a wonder of human ingenuity. Try one. Go on.

TESS
(Unsure)
They look...
(Tries one)
...here, these aren’t bad.

She keeps munching.

DOCTOR
Don’t eat all the black ones. They’re my favourite.

TESS
Sorry. Too late.

DOCTOR
Never mind. What else do we have ? String, a yo-yo, pack of cards, more string,
business cards, another yo-yo - broken. What do you call a broken yo-yo ? A yo.

Tess laughs. Mrs Potter is stone-faced, even though we don’t see her.

DOCTOR
It’s a joke.

MRS POTTER
I don’t like jokes.

DOCTOR
Why doesn’t that surprise me ? Here we are. Money. Is that enough for you ?

MRS POTTER
You could buy the hotel for that.

DOCTOR
Just two rooms will suffice.

MRS POTTER
Two rooms ? Good. I wasn’t sure when I saw you two together. I don’t know how this
place was in the past but I don’t run that sort of hotel, you know. I have standards.

DOCTOR
Absolutely. You never know who’s under your roof. Talking of which, my friend, the
chap I was chasing. He wouldn’t happen to be staying here by any chance ?

MRS POTTER
Mr Cleveland ? Yes he is. He booked in yesterday morning.

DOCTOR
Cleveland ? No, that’s not...
(Pleased with himself)
Of course. Cleveland Street. Did he happen to say where he was going ?

MRS POTTER
I’m not in the habit of divulging matters of confidence between myself and guests.

TESS
I bet you’re not in the habit of having a Lord with this much cash as a guest neither.

MRS POTTER
A Lord ? Oh, Lord. I mean, oh. Well, Mr Cleveland didn’t actually say where he was going...

DOCTOR
But ?

MRS POTTER
He did ask where the Stedgewick Fun Fair was set up.

DOCTOR
Fun Fair ? That’s not like him. That’s not like him at all.

TESS
Maybe it wasn’t your friend after all.

DOCTOR
No. I saw him quite clearly. Tell me, where is this    Fair ?

TESS
I know. I’ll show you if you like.

DOCTOR
Splendid.

Mrs Potter snorts.

DOCTOR
Yes ?

MRS POTTER
Nothing. Well, it’s just that she’s hardly the sort who’s going to Stedgewick’s these days.

DOCTOR
Really ?

TESS
She’s right, Doctor. Ever since word got out about this new strong-man act, it’s been all toffs
at Stedgewick’s. Apparently, he’s not just the strongest man in the world, he’s the ugliest as well.

DOCTOR
And people are paying to gawp at him ?

TESS
Paying a lot of money.

DOCTOR
This really isn’t like Fred at all. Miss....

MRS POTTER
Mrs... Potter. Widowed.

DOCTOR
Mrs Potter, would you happen to know of an establishment where Miss Oaks could
purchase apparel suitable for an evening out ?

MRS POTTER
There’s a shop just along the street. They’re a bit expensive but...

DOCTOR
Money is no object. Take her along and have her kitted out, would you ?

MRS POTTER
I’m not a skivvy for her sort of...

DOCTOR
Do hurry along, there’s a good woman. And I expect her back shining like a new pin by the
time I’ve finished  my supper. Well ? Why are you still here ? Perhaps I should take my
custom elsewhere.

MRS POTTER
No, no. I’ll show her. Your Lordship.

7.
Stedgewick’s Fair.
Cassidy is heading through a crowd. There are sort of Fun Fair type noises. A bit of tinny,
jangly music and a few conversations. Cassidy passes a few other fair workers.

WORKER 1
Cassidy. You going to see Varsh ?

A nervous grunt of confirmation.

WORKER 1
Rather you than me. ThaT caravan of his scares me half to death and I only ever seen the
outside. God only knows what it’s like inside.

Another nervy grunt. Cassidy trudges through the mud for a few more steps then knocks - on
metal. No answer. Another knock on metal. Cassidy grunts, making himself known. Still no
answer. Cassidy pushes the door open. It gives a metallic creak as it opens and he climbs
metal stairs into it. Inside it’s clear that this isn’t a normal caravan. There’s the hum of
electronic equipment. The bleeping and buzzing of computers and machinery. Cassidy picks
up and puts down a couple of objects that sound like they’re made of plastic or metal -
totally out of place in 1894. A computer blips and bleeps. Cassidy grunts with interest, then
comes within a hair’s breadth of wetting himself when Varsh speaks.

VARSH
That cable is live.

A strangulated squeal from Cassidy.

VARSH
If you touch it you will be burned to ashes in seconds.

Cassidy sounds like he’s even more nervous.

VARSH
I know the time. I was resting before my... performance. I will be there in a few minutes.

Cassidy grunts his assent.

VARSH
Cassidy, never enter without my permission again. If you do, I won’t warm you about
any of the other things in here which can kill you. Or worse. Do you understand ?

Cassidy grunts a terrified “yes” grunt and runs, the metal door clanging behind him.

VARSH
Primitive savage.
(He sighs)
Continue compiling the schedule for repairs to the  ship.

COMPUTER
(Sounding damaged and wonky - but a bit human)
Con...con... confirmed.

VARSH
I will be free of this vile place soon.


8.
Carriage heading for the Fair. The Doctor and Tess are inside.

DOCTOR
Do stop fidgeting, Tess.

TESS
I can’t help it. These clothes aren’t half itchy.

DOCTOR
You look positively charming.

Coach slows and stops.

DOCTOR
We’ve arrived.

Carriage door opens. The Doctor drops out onto the mud.

DOCTOR
Down you come. Watch your feet. The ground’s slippery.

TESS
Ugh. This ain’t ground, Doctor. It’s mud.

DOCTOR
Odd that. Given the obvious affluence of the customers, you’d expect the Fair to be in a better spot than this.

TESS
The Fair’s been coming here for years. It’s you toffs that’s new.

DOCTOR
If you’re a good girl and stop calling me a toff I may just buy you a candy floss.

TESS
A what ?

DOCTOR
Suppose we are a bit early for that. Pity. Haven’t had one in ages.

TESS
There. That’s what everybody’s here for.

DOCTOR
The incredible man-beast ?

TESS
Can we go in ? Please ?

DOCTOR
I don’t see why not. If this is the main attraction, Fred’s as likely to have come here as anywhere.

TESS
Who is this Fred pal of yours ? Another toff... I mean, another Lord ?

DOCTOR
No. And he’d be appalled if he heard you ask.  He used to work around here. I thought
he’d retired.

Queue moves forward.

DOCTOR
Two please. Nice and close to the front.

FAIR WORKER
That’s extra.

DOCTOR
Highway robbery. Here.

TESS
Here, Doctor. These are right at the front.

DOCTOR
Good. I’m... wait a moment. There he is.

TESS
Your friend ? Where ?

DOCTOR
There. In the corner at the back.

The Doctor strides through the crowd, causing a most un-Victorian commotion.

DOCTOR
Frederick, my dear fellow. I knew it was you.

The Fred is question is Frederick Abberline.

ABBERLINE
Who the hell are you ?

DOCTOR
Fred, it’s me. The Doctor. I forgot. I’ve changed again since we last met.

ABBERLINE
I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

DOCTOR
You must remember me. The Doctor.

ABBERLINE
Look, Doctor or whoever you are, you obviously have me confused with somebody else.

DOCTOR
I most certainly do not.

ABBERLINE
I’m telling you I’ve never clapped eyes on you before.

DOCTOR
Very well. Let me remind you. November 1888, a yard, a coach, the beer barrel you
used to close a wooden door to the yard, Two odd people...You do remember.

ABBERLINE
I’ve got to go.

DOCTOR
Fred, wait.

Abberline hurries away through the crowd.

TESS
Are all your friends that happy to see you ?

DOCTOR
Something’s definitely wrong. I’m going after him. You stay here and enjoy the show.

TESS
Wait. You can’t...
(Trails off as the Doctor leaves)
... leave me. Except you just did. Charming.

A cheesy fan-fare of music. Stedgewick takes the stage. He desperately wants to be
a great showman, but instead comes off a bit cheap and nasty.

STEDGEWICK
Ladies and gentlemen, let me bid you a most warm and hearty welcome to Stedgewick’s
Family Fun Fair. I am Orville Stedgewick and I promise that tonight, you will see some
extraordinary feats of physical fortitude; a prodigious portrait of physical power. He’s
why we’re all here. Is he a man ? Is he a monster ? Is he a man-monster or a
monster-man ? Laides and gentlemen, I give you the one and only, Varsh.

Another cheesy fanfare, followed by a whoosh of flame and gasps from the crowd.
With heavy, lumbering footsteps, Varsh walks forward on the stage.

STEDGEWICK
Observe the stone block being carried onto stage by these four strong men.

Heavy block set down with a heavy thud.

STEDGEWICK
No normal man could move this block alone, let alone lift it. But Varsh is no ordinary man.

A slight grunt from Varsh, then a gasp from the crowd, then applause.

TESS
(Impressed)
One hand.

STEDGEWICK
Hold your applause, ladies and gentlemen. The mighty Varsh is only just warming up.
For his next show of strength, Varsh will need the assistance of a young lady from
the audience... you, miss ? In the delightful burgundy dress.

General goading and encouraging.

TESS
Me? All right.

STEDGEWICK
I assure you, there’s absolutely no danger. Well, almost no danger. To me anyway.

A little laughter - it wasn’t a funny joke.

TESS
I’m not scared.

Varsh breathes ominously.

TESS
(Trying to convince herself)
I’m not.

9.
Fair.
The Doctor is looking around.

DOCTOR
Where on Earth has he gone ? Excuse me. You haven’t seen a well-dressed chap come
out of that tent in the past few minutes have you ? About so high. Dark hair. Fifty-ish.

Cassidy grunts a no.

DOCTOR
Speak up.

Another grunt.

DOCTOR
Oh. You can’t. Sorry. Never mind. I’ll find him.

The Doctor trudges on.

DOCTOR
What’s got into Fred. This isn’t like him at all...

WORKER 1
Hoi. What’re you doing here?

DOCTOR
(Warily)
Ah, gentlemen. I was looking for a friend of mine. He’s about so high, fifty-ish. I don’t
suppose you or any of your friends here have seen him.

WORKER 1
This area is off limits to everybody who don’t work here. There’s signs.

DOCTOR
Really ? Don’t have my glasses with me.

WORKER 1
The guvnor told us somebody’d been poking about. Told us what to do with him an’ all.

DOCTOR
Now, don’t be hasty. Don’t do anything I’ll regret.

WORKER 1
Get him lads.

DOCTOR
No!

The sound of the Doctor getting whacked a few times.

CLOSING MUSIC

PART TWO TO FOLLOW